Chill Like a Mother Podcast
This show shares stories, offers tips and tricks, and provides education to help you feel more chill like the mother you know you want to be.
Hey! I'm Kayla Huszar, a creative counsellor who's all about unconventional therapy that encourages creativity, curiosity and finding what makes you feel alive (again). I've helped so many women navigate the waves (ups and downs) of motherhood, and I'm here for you, too!
So, if you're feeling overwhelmed or need a moment to yourself, grab your headphones and press play on an episode!
You're not alone, and you already know what you need.
Chill Like a Mother Podcast
No Time for Yourself? Why 10 Minutes of Creativity Changes Everything
Hey there, mom friend. Feeling like you’re constantly juggling a million things and barely keeping your head above water? You’re definitely not alone. In this episode, we’re chatting with Angela about how creativity can offer a much-needed breather in the middle of the chaos that is motherhood.
Angela’s story is all about finding those small moments of calm through creative outlets like painting and journaling. She’ll share her journey from feeling overwhelmed to discovering how these simple tools helped her reconnect with herself and manage stress.
Here’s what we’ll cover:
- Why engaging in creative activities isn’t just a luxury—it’s a practical way to manage stress and feel more grounded.
- Two straightforward ways to start using art and writing to help ease your stress, even with a busy schedule.
- How these creative practices work to help you process emotions and regain some calm amidst the daily hustle.
So, if you’re looking for a down-to-earth conversation about how to make a bit of space for yourself, this episode’s for you. Tune in, and let’s explore how a few creative moments can make a big difference in how you feel.
Ready to find a bit of calm? Press play and join us.
Meet Kayla Huszar, the Host of the Chill Like a Mother Podcast
Hey, moms! I’m Kayla Huszar, and I’m here to help you calm the chaos in modern-day mothering with expressive art therapy. As a creative counsellor, I support moms who feel stuck and are looking to regulate their emotions, reduce anxiety, and tackle stress and overwhelm.
SOCIAL WORKER | EXPRESSIVE ART FACILITATOR | PERINATAL MENTAL HEALTH
Join me on Instagram for more tips and inspiration. And thank you for letting me be a part of your day—even with the kids running amok! If this episode helped you feel a bit more chill, please leave a rating or review. Your feedback helps the podcast reach more moms who need to hear it.
Hello everyone, welcome back to the Chill Like a Mother podcast. Today we are going to be talking about overwhelm, being busy moms and how we use creativity and expressive arts to calm a bit of that chaos and use it as an outlet for our own well-being and our own management of all of the motherhood things. So I am here with Angela. We met each other at our expressive arts therapy training. That was virtual, in the middle of one of the like kind of quarantine pandemic moments and I wanted to interview Angela because she has so much richness in the way that she uses expressive arts as a busy mom of teenagers and lots of children. And, angela, can you start us off with a story of overwhelm and kind of the trajectory of some of your motherhood through that?
Speaker 2:kind of the trajectory of some of your motherhood through that? Yes, totally. When I first became a mom, I remember being with a group of ladies holding my newborn and I felt completely overwhelmed. She was probably about probably five or six months by then. So I had a bit of a handle on the newborn, but I felt like I didn't know what I was doing and I thought it's only going to get better. And I mentioned that to one of the moms beside me and all of them looked at me and were like, oh, like, honey, this is the easy part. And I just remember the feeling of shock and thinking what, what? And now looking back thinking, yeah, it didn't necessarily get any easier, it was different. And so many hard and overwhelmed moments as a mom for sure, yeah.
Speaker 2:So yeah, being a mom of a lot of kids. A mom of a lot of kids yeah, being a mom of a lot of kids is really tricky and you tend to just lose yourself in it. So it took me a few years to figure that out how to incorporate what I need instead of putting it off.
Speaker 1:I love what you just said in terms of you know, at some point you couldn't wait for it to get easier, you just had to prioritize that, that outlet, and so you know, for some moms that looks like yoga or running or whatever the resources for you and I, I can safely say that it is whatever version of expressive art might be calling to us today, and so can you give us some context in terms of what that outlet looks like for you?
Speaker 2:For sure it has definitely changed. I realized I did it when the kids were younger. It has definitely changed. I realized I did it when the kids were younger but I didn't know it, being outside and spending time outdoors and just noticing little out, thinking about something I was stressed out about and painting it out, and every time after that the kids could be around, it didn't matter. Every time after that I got a bit of a piece of me back.
Speaker 2:It felt like I could move on in that piece that was stuck With me. It's hard to explain, but it didn't take much. It really was like pulling paints out, having paper out, and the kids often would be like, oh, mom's painting her feelings right now, and so they could see that I would do it. And I wouldn't do it even every day, like it was just definitely something that when it got so hard and I was stuck and I knew like I needed to address this piece, that is what um helped a lot, so yeah, I, I agree, I, when I'm explaining what this process can be to people, I start to stumble over my words a little bit, because I truly believe that it is better experienced than it is explained.
Speaker 1:But just for our own context, tell me about how you sit down to paint your feelings so that you can notice those thoughts and feelings and those stuck places, especially in regards to, like, parenting, or tough moments in parenting, or tough, tough kids, even Totally.
Speaker 2:I it doesn't like it. I'm just trying to think it through here. I often will notice over a time period like it's not, like I am so aware. I'm like, oh, right now I need to do expressive arts. It's usually a few days where I'm stuck on an issue and I can't, and then I start to notice, oh, and this is something that's like like you're like doing less well because of it. This issue happening so like, for example, even last week, I'm just like was getting more.
Speaker 2:I felt like wanting to have more control over my teenagers, checking in on them, more, noticing I was getting a little more panicky. So I just was like, okay, sit down, grab the paints instead of watching and numbing out, just sit in the evening evening. The kids are all on their devices anyway. So I, uh, I painted. My control is what I painted out and I'm wondering what it would tell me. So I sat down and just drew what came to me, picked colors, what came to me, and ended up drawing like a massive x, like I just wanted, you know, know, everything, controlled, everything needed to stop. And then, but in the corner there's a little bit of yellow and it just increased and the yellow increased and I really felt like it was saying to me focus on something differently, Like that. It was just a very simple message, but just enough for me to say, oh right, I don't need to be so controlling, I can let go and it will be okay.
Speaker 2:And it was, I think, 10 minutes of sitting down and painting. So I mean I just feel like for my teens it's super great that I have that outlet. It's not the only outlet I have. Walking is super great too, and going to a counselor all those things are super important for mental health as well as a mom. But these times that I do art are just for me, I think. I find it's just a space that I can like in my back pocket I can go to quickly and express myself Right, which I think for moms is so like we put that on the back burner all the time, Like we don't have time to express ourselves. We have to be the calm, we have to be the all the time Right, and it's just exhausting and this is just a way we can quickly still address that without it taking too much time.
Speaker 1:So now, since I took my level one, expressive arts therapy training, and I can even get myself into that headspace of it's going to take too much time, it's going to be too much cleanup. I don't have enough room on my kitchen table already Like I would. I would have to do all of these steps before actually sitting down to do the thing. And I think the story that I can tell myself is that a few of them it's not worth it to sit, like to do all the effort to get there to sit down.
Speaker 1:What if it doesn't work Right, like you know, as you're saying, like it'll be a few days, or you know a couple of moments of noticing and you're like, oh, I've been thinking about this a lot, maybe I need an outlet, maybe I need to express it. And at that point, for me sometimes I can be like what if it doesn't work? Then it's going to be a waste of my time, and then I'm going to be even more mad and disgruntled about whatever it is, because I can't figure it out. And so those can be the stories that I tell myself. And then a third. That first noticing is the most challenging part, because I think you're like interrupting that pattern right Of, like it would be easier to just sit down and watch TV oh yeah, and that takes more effort right this.
Speaker 1:This other thing might take like a smidgen more effort, um, but I feel like the payoff, the payoff is so much greater yeah, and I do.
Speaker 2:I tend to have it nearby, like paints that I can easily grab paper easily, like it's not, um, something I have to search for. But I can sometimes go, oh, I don't like those paints anymore, I should get some new ones. But I just you try to do it like with what you got right with, like I can use crayons, markers, pencil, whatever. And even at the time I did it, my daughter was painting and trying a different technique and I was like, ooh, maybe I'll start with that, I'm going to copy what she was doing. Like you just really just go with what comes without and like, worst case scenario, you get to paint right, so if nothing comes of it, you just have some fun with it. So to take the pressure off, I think as moms, it's super like just paint for fun, but if you can take that into it and and something might just release um for you and that would be so beautiful for you. So that's what I would say to moms Just just try it, do that first.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, absolutely, and so I'm curious what drew you into wanting to incorporate expressive art into your life? You know, like, can you give a bit of context of, like, what was happening before? What prompted you to, like, explore expressive arts as a mom?
Speaker 2:I have always loved psychology. I am a foster mom, so trauma is hugely an important issue, uh, with my kiddos or with, yeah, in the whole system. Um, for myself too, um, and I knew I think I knew that something I needed something larger than the average, I don't know, just a little more support. And, um, my uh, a relative of mine was taking the course at the same time and mentioned it to me and I was just like that sounds amazing, like incredible, and it was something you could do, like anyone could do. You didn't have to be a therapist, like I'm a practitioner, and I, yeah, I just really loved it, the idea of behind it, the premise, and while at the course, of course, you just learn so much and experience so much you can't think that you wouldn't need it.
Speaker 1:So yeah, yeah, yeah, I, I came back. The first training that I did was in person. Um and I came home. At the time I had a toddler and, um, I came home a completely different person.
Speaker 1:I, I swear that the undiagnosed and missed perinatal mood stuff for me, um was in that first 10 days, one known, named, identified and also like completely healed I got. It was such an amazing, immersive experience that there was like no wrong way to express yourself, there was no wrong way to take it, there was no like, there was a container and some like guidelines, but also the hands-on learning part was so, so amazing and I just I come back to it every time. You know, I have gone back and forth to different talk therapists thinking that that would, you know, cause the benefits and you gotta be a social worker, a psychologist, to get covered and all those things. But I, I, I go to them and they're great, they're fine, they're fine therapists and practitioners. But the minute that I go and experience expressive arts, either in a group or one-on-one, I get the the deeper, like the going deeper or the the bigger release or relief from it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, totally. I keep trying to explain it to my husband and my kids and like but are you really? You're right, like you said earlier, you just have to try it to really understand how it works.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah for sure. How do you, how do you come about that, that knowing that you need to express yourself in this way, cause there's like, there's a noticing happening there, or like, uh, you know, like, uh, you're resourcing for yourself, which, for anybody who doesn't know what resourcing is, it's basically like anything that fits in that moment that will help you or guide you forward or or help you through something. And so, um, like I said before, for some people that's yoga or running, or a standing coffee date with a friend. Um, for me, it always comes back to some kind of expression, whether that's like literally what I wear, or like being like in a noticing about my own body and those kinds of things. So, circling it back to like this moment, even last week that you had that, you were just like I, just I, I just I know that I need to sit down and do this. Do you have like a, a knowing, or like some words that go with the before part?
Speaker 2:or you know, yeah, I um, like there are a lot of stressful things, but when it starts to be a sad, sadder feeling for me, like I just am not excited about moving forward, it feels like I'm stuck, really. Um, then I keep that in one hand as I, of course, you continue to do the things, uh, knowing that at some point I need to deal with it, whether it's talking to the counselor or but which will take a month to book, or pulling out the paper. Sometimes I do movement, like just allow my body to move how it wants to move. Um, if I'm super frustrated, I might just run for a bit or jump or what you know, like just allow my body to release it if I can. But still, it often is the painting part. That's just gets to the root of what's going on.
Speaker 2:So I it is like a lot of little things I can do along the way, like the movement or the getting outside or getting fresh air. Those I know those will help handle it. But it is the getting to the paper and that really helps me go. Okay, that's it, that's what's going on, and then I can move forward. You're unstuck after that. It's quite interesting.
Speaker 1:Oh, you put that so well, like going from stuck, whether you're in the newborn phase or the teenage phase or the adult children phase phase, or the teenage phase or the adult children phase, going from the stuck to the knowing that you want to unstick it. Right, because I think there has to be like a willingness to look at the stuck Totally. Yeah, and then you know doing the act, the painting or the journaling, the movement, whatever it is, and then, after I totally agree with you, there is this I'm unstuck or I can let it go, or, um, the way that sometimes I describe it is like I have left it on the paper, I no longer need to carry it. Yeah, that's good, it has gone from my brain, in my neurons, in my, in my system, pent up, and now it's out and there's like, uh, there's a relief or a release that happens in that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, totally.
Speaker 1:So, because we are experienced in this, can you give any pointers to maybe, a beginner? A beginner or somebody who maybe used to be creative and needs to like reignite that within themselves? What tips would you give somebody who is, like, really intrigued about the process but isn't sure where to start?
Speaker 2:I would for sure go to the art store and pick out some favorite things, because even having them nearby it's just fun. It makes it funner, right? So picking colors, you would you love what, the things you're drawn to. Good paper, um, but honestly, you could just even have your 8x11 printer paper and some markers. You really could.
Speaker 2:But having it nearby and handy, I think, is the biggest thing. And then even just taking that paper and using whatever you ended up with markers, paint and just playing with it, just with no um intention, just what colors you notice you like better, what you know, just put it on the paper and have a lot of fun with it and notice as you're coloring what feelings come up, and let it just be a fun experience. And then, I think, just having it handy and when you have a hard day, maybe pulling it out right and again just drawing what comes comes to your mind, pick a favorite color and pick a favorite shape and go from there is what I often do and and then pick the next favorite color in the next addition to your page. So quite simple. It sounds quite simple and it really is, but it is just letting yourself follow those thoughts.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely, and I would agree it is. You know, when you say it like, yeah, just get out the paper, get out your favorite color or get out your favorite um sticker book, whatever. Like, I'm totally obsessed with stickers, like adult stickers right now I have far too many than I will ever use. But, um, I, but it doesn't. But it also doesn't have to be um. For someone where the blank page might be scary or making that first move might be scary, um, I actually suggest people just draw like a pencil circle on the page and sometimes that just like allows you to start um somewhere. Like it could be any, like it could literally be the bottom of the coffee cup that you already have in your hand when you're doing it, or the pop can, or the um, the post-it note, whatever is like close to you, just to like make one shape and then from there it can just.
Speaker 1:It can just it goes. For me, it goes way deeper than words can I can say the exact same thing. I can describe that stuck place or that overwhelm or that frustration to my partner, and it doesn't. He can validate it. He can do all the right things in that conversation, right, and I leave that feeling completely different valuable time spent. But I leave that completely different than I might if I was getting it on paper or moving my body through it or listening to a song that helps me get unstuck. It is that, it is that body, it's the body relief that I'm looking for.
Speaker 2:That's a really great way of explaining it. Yeah, it is such a relief. I agree, like I will spend hours talking about it with my husband and we try to solve every problem under the sun and it definitely. You don't come out of that the same way, for sure.
Speaker 1:And you know what I just came to my mind. I think in that moment we do, we go to solution mode, we go to let's fix it, or let's like what is? What is the real problem here? Right and like, I find that I get too much into the detail of it. When, when I get into the art of it, what happens for me is I'm less so identifying the problem or ruminating about the problem, and I have moved through to either letting it go, accepting it as it is, or changing the way that I show up to said defined problem that needs fixing.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm. Yeah, totally. Every time it's something, it is definitely a letting go or a new perspective really on the problem and it's so visual. I love like I can just have it sitting out for a few days to a little reminder Like remember that thing? Oh yeah, we, this was the solution, this was the thing we were gonna let go of her, or yeah. So that is kind of a fun aftermath of it all. You can have it just in the corner or somewhere and the kids don't even know what it all means, right where it actually is quite meaningful.
Speaker 1:So yeah, absolutely I do. I leave mine out too. I have, like, I have a couple like on my desk right now even that are from the last couple of days and it's it's helpful to look at them and go oh right, that was the meaning there, or that was the lesson there, or that was the reframe on this really hard thing and it, yeah, it, it helps, it helps, bring it, bring it back into.
Speaker 1:what can I, what can I control? What can I change? How? How much of this can I facilitate? How much is totally out of my hands? You know when, when you said about like the teenagers and the checking on them and the you know feeling that urge of like, are they okay, are they not okay? Are they struggling silently? You know, just like that, pull to and and I find that when and this, if you're watching the video, you're not getting my movements or if you're watching listening, only you're not getting my movements.
Speaker 1:But if you're watching the video, you're not getting my movements. Or if you're watching, listening only you're not getting my movements, but if you're watching the video, it's like this outward this is how I describe it. I need to know if they're okay. Or I have this urge to like control or facilitate or, you know, like get it just right so that we can avoid a meltdown or whatever meltdown or whatever. And the art helps me, helps bring it in this direction of like it's, it's soothing for me, it's grounding for me. And then I show up to those hard, challenging, terrible moments differently yeah, it's such a good like reminder.
Speaker 2:Uh, even last week, like when I did that control piece, I just left it even just laying on the counter like it's not up or posted or anything, and I could just glance at it and it's like oh just oh yeah, right yeah absolutely.
Speaker 1:Oh, angela, thank you so much for agreeing to talk about this with me and sharing your wisdom of expressive arts and how you use it in these moments, how you notice when you need to use it, and just that like spontaneous nature of just starting, just starting with blank page and your favorite color or your favorite shape, and just like allowing yourself that curiosity of seeing where it goes and what it shifts.
Speaker 2:Thanks for having me, it was fun.
