Invisible No More: Feeling Seen as Moms

Ever waved your hands at an automatic sink that just won’t turn on? Yeah, me too. I’m Kayla Huszar, and that frustrating moment led to a powerful realization about visibility and self-worth in motherhood. 

In this episode, I break down how a mundane bathroom moment sparked deep reflections on the invisible labor of motherhood and womanhood—and how we’re conditioned to keep giving until we lose ourselves.

Tune in as I share three simple, practical ways to make the invisible visible and reclaim your power. This is a call to action for every remarkable woman to stand up, be seen, and be heard. Ready to stop feeling invisible? Get those earbuds in a press play. 

Transcript

Kayla Huszar: 0:08

Hey everyone, it's Kayla Huzar here and welcome back to the podcast after a little hiatus. I have missed you and I'm excited to be back in your ears today. If you're new here, welcome, and if you've been around for a while, welcome back. This podcast is all about slowing down, reconnecting with yourself and finding more ways to live with intention, creativity and a whole lot of audacious energy in motherhood. So let's dive into today's episode, because I've got something to share and it might hit close to home, especially if you've ever felt invisible or like nobody sees you.

Kayla Huszar: 0:45

So I was at Winners the other day in the bathroom and there was an automatic sink. So let me, let me see if this has ever happened to you. I'm standing there, I'm waving my hands, trying to summon the magic or the secret that makes the water come out. Nothing happens and, honestly, my first thought was like the sink doesn't even see me. Has that ever happened to you? Have you ever had a sink moment when the sink doesn't see you? Yeah, it's like an annoying glitch in modern technology and life, but it can be a deeper metaphor for those times when we feel invisible in our own lives, like we're putting in all the effort, we're literally waving our hands and doing everything that we're supposed to do, but somehow nobody sees us. Now I know I'm not the only one who feels this way, because I work with women every day who come into my office saying that they feel misunderstood, they don't feel appreciated, they don't feel seen or heard or valued for any of the stuff, especially the invisible stuff that they do, and they're all out there just holding it together, and sometimes the world doesn't even notice. So this got me thinking if I'm not the problem and the sink isn't the problem, what is the problem? And I think the problem for me is that, as women, we're conditioned to think that we're just supposed to keep going, keep giving, keep waving our hands, keep trying to get the water to turn on, keep giving, keep waving our hands, keep trying to get the water to turn on, without stopping to recognize an alternative, creative solution or recognizing our own needs or wants or desires in this.

Kayla Huszar: 2:43

So before we dig deeper into this, let me take a moment to reintroduce myself, especially for those who might be new to the show. I'm Kayla Huzar, a millennial counselor and coach for moms, and my whole passion is helping them find their way back to themselves through expressive arts, therapy and body-centered approaches and in this space the podcast we get real about the challenges of modern life and the ways that we can connect, reconnect with our favorite self, our higher self, our authentic, a way that we don't actually have to escape Our lives. So the problem when the sink doesn't see me Is not that I'm invisible, right Like I'm standing there, I'm in front of the sink, I'm waving my hand. It's If I go deeper and stay with me here, it's a little existential. It's about the expectation that I'm under, and that expectation can feel impossible, especially when I've lost sight of myself. And so here I am, standing in winters, and the sink's not turning on. And so here I am, standing in winters, and the sink's not turning on, and the intrusive thoughts start coming in, because my kids didn't want to come into the bathroom with me, so they're outside the bathroom in the shopping cart, and you know, the anxiety starts to creak in. So here I am, the sink finally does turn on, by the way, and I think, finally you see me, finally I am visible. So here's the thought that immediately comes into my mind I was never invisible. The sink could see me. I was a human being standing in front of a sink just wanting to wash my hands, and in this moment I had this epiphany that I have to make myself visible. I have to stand in myself. I have to make what is invisible visible. If I'm wanting to be seen, if I'm wanting to be seen, if I'm wanting to have credit, if I'm wanting acknowledgement, if I'm wanting or craving connection, I have to make the invisible visible.

Kayla Huszar: 5:26

And so I came up with three really simple ways that I could practice this in the coming days after the sink incident. My first, my very first idea was spontaneous action, like to shake things up, to do something different, and that thing wasn't very big. The thing just reminded me that I'm more than the role that I play as a mother or as wife, and so I switched up my playlist. I had a mini dance party, I spontaneously decided to get a new tattoo, of which I had to arrange childcare to actually go to, but that spontaneity helped me feel alive and visible.

Kayla Huszar: 6:22

The second thing was to stop long enough to listen to the whispers. You know the ones, those quiet little thoughts that pop into your head now and then the ones that start with I wish I could, wouldn't that be nice. Oh, that's great for them, but not for me. I started paying attention to that, I started listening, and the way that I stopped to listen is putting my phone away and either writing or journaling or art, like creating something like a collage. Sometimes it's just the absence of that technology, that's a that allows me to listen to that whisper.

Kayla Huszar: 7:09

And the third tiny little adjustment that I could make in turning the invisible visible was to take charge of my time, even if it's just five minutes, to carve out a moment for myself to breathe or reflect or to get my head on right, something that I've been saying to myself a lot lately like what do I need to get my head on right? Been saying to myself a lot lately, like what do I need to get my head on right? And this comes from noticing and slowing down, simply being with what's in front of me, whether that's noise or whether that's silence. So I have a little art therapy exercise that I'd like to walk you through, where we reclaim the visibility, we turn the invisible into visible.

Kayla Huszar: 7:59

I want you to imagine this little sink moment of mine and I want you to see if you can transport yourself into that place where you're waving your hands and the water's not turning on. How does that feel? What is the emotion, the physical sensation that comes up for you and then on your paper whether it's in your journal, in your notes app or you you know, you pause the podcast and you go and get some art journal supplies I want you to capture this moment in a drawing or in a collage, using colors or shapes or lines, not necessarily to represent you literally standing in front of the sink that won't turn on, but representing how you would feel in this moment. Capturing in color and line and shape or image or metaphor the way that you would feel standing in front of the sink when the water doesn't turn on. Or maybe you already have another idea in mind, another area of your life where you feel invisible. Go into your body and check in with the physical sensation and the color and the shapes that represent this, shapes that represent this.

Kayla Huszar: 9:29

And once you've expressed all of that emotion, the invisible emotion, I want you to do something to this writing or this art journal page that represents reclaiming, being visible, being seen. Maybe it's a bold color or another symbol, maybe it's words like I am enough or I matter. It's your declaration that you're stepping into the light. You are turning the invisible visible. I hope this episode helps you start reclaiming your space and visibility and if you're feeling like it's time for some deeper work, check out my services. I am here to help you reconnect with yourself and get creative and find and create the life that you don't have to escape from, because you are not a background character you are the leading lady in your own life. Thanks for tuning in. I'm so glad to be back with you and until next time, keep those hands waving in front of the sink. Keep taking up space. See you next week.