Chill Like a Mother Podcast
This show shares stories, offers tips and tricks, and provides education to help you feel more chill like the mother you know you want to be.
Hey! I'm Kayla Huszar, a creative counsellor who's all about unconventional therapy that encourages creativity, curiosity and finding what makes you feel alive (again). I've helped so many women navigate the waves (ups and downs) of motherhood, and I'm here for you, too!
So, if you're feeling overwhelmed or need a moment to yourself, grab your headphones and press play on an episode!
You're not alone, and you already know what you need.
Chill Like a Mother Podcast
Sensory Overload in Motherhood: Why You Feel Like You're Losing It and How to Feel More Calm
Your problem isn’t just the noise and chaos of motherhood—it’s how your nervous system is processing it.
Ever feel like you’re one loud noise away from snapping? Motherhood is a full-sensory experience—from the constant demands to the mental load that never stops. If you’ve ever wondered why everything feels so overwhelming, this episode is for you.
I’m joined by occupational therapist Cindy Goldhawk to break down why moms experience sensory overload and, more importantly, what to do about it (without needing an hour of alone time you don’t have).
💡 We’re diving into:
✨ Why sensory overload happens in motherhood (and why it’s NOT just you)
✨ Common misconceptions about occupational therapy and how it actually helps moms
✨ My own journey with postpartum anxiety & sensory overwhelm
✨ How to support your child’s sleep & regulation (without losing your mind in the process)
✨ Quick, in-the-moment strategies to calm your nervous system when everything feels like too much
✨ The impact of social media on your mental health and how to set boundaries
Motherhood wasn’t meant to be a never-ending sensory assault—and with the right tools, a little creativity, and a whole lot of self-compassion, you can find more calm amid the chaos.
💬 What’s your biggest sensory trigger as a mom? Drop a comment or send me a DM—I’d love to hear from you.
Meet Kayla Huszar, the Host of the Chill Like a Mother Podcast
Kayla Huszar is a Registered Social Worker and Expressive Arts Therapist who helps mothers reconnect with their authentic selves through embodied art-making. She encourages moms to embrace the messy, beautiful realities of their unique motherhood journeys. Whether through the podcast, 1:1 sessions or her signature Motherload Membership, Kayla creates a brave space for mothers to explore their identities beyond parenting, reconnect with their intuition, and find creative outlets for emotional expression and self-discovery.
Thank you for letting me be a part of your day—kids running amok and all! If this episode helped you feel a little more chill, please leave a rating or review. Your feedback helps the podcast reach more moms who need to hear it.
Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode of the Chill Like a Mother podcast. I am here with Cindy today and Cindy and I have been oh my gosh, what's the word when you're like parasocial friends on Instagram. We have We've never officially met before today and I'm so excited to have her here because what drew me into her Instagram thank you algorithm was the way that she approaches sensory overload for moms from an occupational therapy perspective, which I think can be, which I know can land differently and be spoken about differently than talk therapy, or from that like real therapist perspective. And for those of you who've listened to the podcast before, I'm Kayla Huzar, I'm a social worker, but my main modality is of intervention, is expressive arts therapy, mindfulness, body-centered awareness, and so I work a lot with the body, which helps the mind, and so when I'm explaining theories like cognitive behavioral therapy to clients which, if you don't know what that is, is basically a way that we reframe our thoughts, and sometimes I feel like it falls short from the actual experience of the event, the emotion of it, not only the thoughts of it, but the way that it feels in the body, the way that we respond to it, the way that we ruminate on it, and what I love about what Cindy brings to the online space and the people that she works with is that different lens through the occupational therapy which correct me if I'm wrong Cindy is about giving people skills.
Speaker 1:Right, it's like acknowledging where they're at and giving them skills and tools to make their lives better, because I think there's lots of misconceptions about what occupational therapy is and what it can do for you.
Speaker 2:Absolutely yeah, occupational therapy and explaining it has been the biggest part of my job. That is a little bit hard to do, but, yeah, the occupation part, I feel, is like a little bit of a misnomer, because most people think of occupation as getting people back to their job. To us, occupation is all those things that we want to do and need to be able to do in a day, and if illness, injury, the transition into or through motherhood is making those things difficult to you know, get back into painting, to get back into hiking, to be able to meet with our friends and do those things that add value and quality to our life, we help to build skill, remove barriers so that they can do those things, help to build skill, remove barriers so that they can do those things. And so there's a real focus on doing, I guess, and kind of meaningful activities is something that we talk a lot about which is kind of just your favorite things to do, your favorite roles.
Speaker 2:You know, if you're, if you love being an auntie, if you're not a mom yet you know kind of those those things that really make you you. That's kind of what we, what we focus on, and so so, yeah, and I love that you said about the body and how that really contributes to the mind, and we, I would say, are really holistic health professionals and so kind of looking at the body, the mind, the spirit, and so that really resonated for me that you know, working with the body can make such a difference with the mind as well and the spirit, kind of looking more at just what's most important to you, what are you passionate about, and those kinds of things, yeah. So yeah, I don't know if you want me to talk just briefly about how I got into oh, please please, okay, kids.
Speaker 2:For 24 years as a pediatric OT and saw lots of you know moms who were struggling with motherhood as well as my own, I think, my own experiences as a mother and experiencing postpartum depression and sensory overload and overwhelm and thinking I should be able to do it all on my own.
Speaker 2:You know, always, I guess up until that point, I felt like everything I did I was able to do well, and all of a sudden, motherhood it was like huh, I can't master this, it's not a, it's not a doing, it's more of a being. And so, through my experience or my challenges of motherhood, I just really wanted to be able to support other mothers through this transition, because it is, it's a big one and yeah, so that's, I guess, kind of my personal experience over my professional experience led me to that. So, yeah, the last eight years I started out part time and then now I'm doing it full time where I support moms in their maternal mental health and then I also, with that pediatric experience, can support them if they're having difficulties with their baby's breastfeeding, bottle feeding, introduction to solids, any sensory regulation or, yeah, kind of activities of daily living challenges. Yeah, that's kind of my little backstory.
Speaker 1:Well, that's amazing. It's very similar to how I got into private practice and using expressive arts therapy as my main modality. I had been burnt out from my real job and as a social worker and I went to work for a commercial photographer for a time as his assistant. I just needed a break from all of it. And while I was working for him in this like crazy creative field right Like, the whole day is about creativity and photography and not only setting up the shoots but the editing that comes afterwards and like all of the creative bits about that and I just kept thinking to myself there has to be a way to do both of these things, like merge my passion for being a social worker and my passion for creativity. And that's when I started researching ways to to be able to do both.
Speaker 1:My son was two when my, my firstborn son was two, when I went to, when I went back to school and became an expressive arts therapist, and as I was there and this sounds really far-fetched even as I say it I like healed all of those parts of myself that were like lost or stuck or felt invisible in motherhood, because exactly that, cindy, it was like I knew that I could perform at a different level, which comes with its own stuff about productivity and being a woman and all this stuff.
Speaker 1:But, like, everything was so much slower and I had a really hard time adjusting and surrendering to what was happening right in front of me, which then caused a bunch of anxiety because I couldn't control it. I couldn't control when my baby woke up in the night. I couldn't control how much he ate or how much he didn't eat, or when a parcel was going to end up on the doorstep and the doorbell was going to ring and the dog was going to bark and he was going to wake up. And so I became like hyper, fixated on creating the perfect environment so that nothing would go wrong, to decrease my own sensory overload from all of it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's huge. There's so much out of control in motherhood. Hey, like, and it doesn't matter the number of books you read, because I'm a researcher and a reader and yeah, sometimes you have to step back from, maybe come out of the head and into your heart a little bit more and and what feels right to you, yeah, absolutely.
Speaker 1:Can you share with us what moms are coming to you to to support them in? Is it? Is it this idea of like shoulds? Is it? Is it that they feel out of control with their emotions or they feel like they just can't handle whatever's in front of them? What's what is like the, the most presenting thing that people come to you for?
Speaker 2:I would say a lot of postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, definitely experiencing rage. Moms or professionals that are feeling burnt out. A lot of moms with neurodiversity that are just feeling way sensory, lots of sensory overload, and just aren't quite sure how to set up routines and daily habits to manage. I think, yeah, lots of new moms, some prenatal moms as well, who are struggling with anxiety or depression. Yeah, and then moms kind of anywhere in their journey feeling just kind of out of sorts.
Speaker 2:Or I guess I would say any transitional period is big for occupational therapy because things change and when that change comes it's hard to figure out. Where do I find my place in that? How do I set up new routines? How do I add value to my life when I feel like something has maybe been taken away? So you know, return to work after baby perimenopause is a big one empty nesting when all your babies are leaving home, retirement things like that and we just focus on getting them back in tune with their values and kind of setting up routines and habits and mindsets with you know what's most important to them. It's amazing.
Speaker 1:So in that, what would you say to somebody who was struggling to put her baby down or toddlers children? Any tiny person who needs sleep support because of her own sensory overload in the bedtime routine?
Speaker 2:was really struggling with that and her partner could do it, but she wanted to be able to feel like she could do it too, because she was feeling like a failure, that she wasn't able to manage this part of the routine and you know it's a special routine putting your babies to bed and so we really worked on building in some regulating activities prior to bedtime so that her nervous system, she was feeling a little bit more calm. And then we got her some really good noise reducing headphones that help to just mute the crying a little bit. It's not going to block out all the crying. You're still going to be able to hear your baby and be able to respond to their needs, but it's just not as acute and as overwhelming, so hopefully isn't going to throw you out of the window of tolerance we sometimes talk about in therapy. So just where you're feeling completely overwhelmed you may still feel a little bit activated, but you're able to cope.
Speaker 2:And out for eight A longer exhale is known to be more calming for the nervous system. And then after she did it as after she put her baby down to sleep for the night then she would end off with some more regulating activities before she went to bed, and when I say these regulating activities, we're not talking about like an hour of doing things after bed. It doesn't need to necessarily take a long time, but I'm pretty sure we had her doing some legs up the wall. If people know what that is, it's a yoga pose where you scoot your butt up to the wall and then put your legs up on the wall and it can just be really grounding, also using the five senses exercise. So you know, which really helps you to kind of come into the present moment by looking at five things in your environment that you can see, four things that you can feel, three things that you can help me out here. There's smell, smell, taste and I'm missing. Do I say sound?
Speaker 2:Yeah, Sound yes, it doesn't matter how many of each one, just that you're kind of tuning into your senses in that moment. And so, yeah, we would just kind of make sure that we flanked that really challenging routine for her and task that she wanted to be able to be successful at and she felt really proud of herself once she was, you know, and it took a little bit of a process to get that down, but but yeah, that was really, that was really great. So, just like when we work with kids and we want to, if they're having a hard time with, say, getting dressed, we always will try to encourage a regulating activity before to help them to be able to do that, and then a fun or a preferred activity afterwards so that they know that something more enjoyable is coming after.
Speaker 1:So, kind of using that same structure a little bit after, so kind of using that same structure a little bit. Yeah, amazing. I love that you said that it didn't take an hour. Those regulating activities didn't take an hour because what I hear from a lot of my clients is I don't have time.
Speaker 1:And while that is absolutely a valid perception, what's true for a lot of my clients that I work with, when we actually get into the nitty gritties of what time is, how we spend our time, how we even view time, like our perception of time, what ends up happening for a lot of my clients is that they realize, not that they don't have time, but that they're spending time on activities that aren't serving them or are not helpful for the nervous system.
Speaker 1:They're going to those default activities which can provide a bit of a distraction, but not actually dealing with the root cause of, or not dealing with root cause how should I say? This is not a helpful response to the sensory overload we? We think that it is because it helps and I'm talking about screen time, um, or like scrolling is it's helpful in the moment because it provides a distraction and it helps us like separate maybe from that overwhelming whir of thoughts that can kind of happen in the sensory overload or overstimulation or being touched out. But when I actually break this down with clients they're like oh, I actually don't think it's helping. I'm doing it by default, but as like, if we put it in categories of like harmful, helpful, but not harmful and helpful, it's probably in that middle category of it's not harmful but it's also not helping.
Speaker 2:Exactly. Yeah, we chatted about that in our, in my mom and baby wellness group this week just moms talking about how easy it is just to grab your phone and scroll and how unhelpful it is. And so you know many of them talked about, you know, trying to put it out of sight, out of mind, for portions of the day, and I do think that you know many of them talked about you know trying to put it out of sight, out of mind, for portions of the day, and I do think that you know scrolling on our social media is very activating, so we're actually kind of making the problem worse than making it better. So you know there's lots of different things that we can do to help to regulate our nervous systems that are helpful and for each person it may be slightly different. You know there are some.
Speaker 2:I think that nature is an incredibly regulating activity. So you know going for a walk however, that's maybe not for everyone. So just thinking about what those activities are for you, that you find that you feel more relaxed and calm after you, that you find that you feel more relaxed and calm after you know reading, drinking a cup of tea, you know giving yourself a big bear hug kind of this. Deep pressure massage is known to be quite calming for the nervous system, as is what a lot of people don't always believe, but it stimulates our polyvagal nerve, is when we're, when we do any humming or singing, and the polyvagal nerve is directly linked to our parasympathetic nervous system, so it can bring on that calming. Yeah. And there's so many other things. A lot of things to do with our mouth can be quite calming. So like chewing on a crunchy snack, some carrot sticks, sucking through a straw cup, those things are all really helpful, yeah.
Speaker 1:Hmm, something that has helped me in moments where, like, I'm about to lose my mind, being that we are an ADHD family and so there's lots of sensory situations or different speeds in which we we approach things, and there's this, this bilateral music, and it's an Instagram reel that I found, and my kids know that I use this as a resource, and so if I am like about to yell and this takes practice for anybody who's listening something that I hear a lot from my clients is like, but I can't stop myself, right, there's there's no pause in between the I'm going to yell and the yelling, or I know that I shouldn't react in this moment, and then I am doing it.
Speaker 1:And so there's. It takes practice to identify the resource that you need and actually use it. And so, in this acute moment, when I am about to quite literally scream bloody murder at my children for being too fast or too slow or whatever, in this moment of getting ready in the morning, I'll try to find it and link it in the show notes, but it's a song and you're supposed to put it under your chin and the music goes from ear to ear and it does this magical thing in my brain where everything quiets and I'm able to tune in to the body sensations, and it only takes about 10 seconds. Again, that like perception of well, I need an hour to calm down this. It works for me.
Speaker 1:Might not always work for everybody else, but it's this stimulation that happens in my brain and it allows that moment of pause and it can allow me to think about how I actually want to show up in this moment. Right, my kids are just being kids. Right, they're just like they're not. They're not being rude, they're not purposely doing this thing, right, they're. They're either having a hard time or they're, they're overstimulated themselves and don't know how to move from what we're doing to the next step. Right, and so this moment of pause is really important, and I think a really big misconception, for at least the women that I work with, is that I need tons of time for that right, Like in the moment my kids are screaming or my baby's crying or they won't sleep, or and how do I take a moment for myself? And something that I have found really helpful is for myself and a lot of my clients is using resources that can be used in the heat of the moment. That it doesn't.
Speaker 2:That doesn't require you to step away yeah, that's huge because usually, or oftentimes, it is just you with the little one. So what can you use in the moment? There's lots of things that we can do preventatively to try to help to calm your nervous system, but what can we use in the moment? And, like you say, it takes a lot of practice and a lot of self-awareness to kind of notice those cues in ourselves when we're starting to get overwhelmed, before we're to that completely sensory overloaded place and we'll recommend is some type of breath, just because I think that has such a direct impact on our nervous system. So, again, the breathing in for four and out for six or eight, just that longer exhale, as well as, if you need to, stepping outside, you know, putting your baby or your children where they're safe, and stepping outside for a moment, I think is totally fine. Or into the bathroom having a pillow or something, you know, if you feel like you need to exert some energy or something to punch, to scream, calling a friend, you know, taking a break in whatever way you need to.
Speaker 2:I love this idea of the music and the binaural beats. I'm not sure if you've played around with that at all. No, yeah, I need to do some more research on it, but it as well, I think, would be very helpful in the moment and also just kind of maybe having a script for yourself you know that it is okay, we are okay, I am safe, this will pass things like that. Okay, we are okay, I am safe, this will pass. Things like that that are just going to cue to your nervous system that things are okay and yeah. So those are some of the things that I would suggest doing in the moment and that deep pressure hug. Yeah, one thing that I really wanted to chat about, if I may, is just I think a lot of moms, yeah, think that you know why can't I handle it when other moms can.
Speaker 2:The noise, the clutter. And I just wanted to say that everyone's nervous system is so different, kind of, you know, in how we're born but also in the experiences that we've gone through in our lives. If we've experienced trauma, things like that, if we have any neurodiversity, you know, our nervous systems might be a little bit more sensitized. If we have any neurodiversity, you know, our nervous systems might be a little bit more sensitized. And then also, as a new mom, it's quite fascinating that our brain actually undergoes all these changes and it actually makes the amygdala, which is kind of the alarm part of our brain, it makes it larger and more sensitized. And so we're kind of yeah.
Speaker 2:And then you add in the stress of trying to care for a newborn, maybe not getting the support that you had hoped for practically or emotionally, Sleep deprivation, rapid hormonal changes, and you all of a sudden have this perfect little storm for sensory overload.
Speaker 2:So I just I know there's lots of shame that can come with sensory overload, which sometimes leads to rage as well, and I'm not saying there's nothing you can do about it, but it takes a lot of work and it's not just your fault as the mom. Yes, there's so many contributing pieces to this sensory overload and to what makes our nervous system sensitized. So, yeah, I would just, you know you have a colicky or a baby who's made a trip to the NICU or you've maybe experienced a little bit of birth trauma and your nervous system is just that much more sensitized and and then it's not going to take you as much to be set off. Also, looking at times of day or times of the week and are there, you know, oftentimes moms will say later in the evening they will experience sensory overload more often and so trying to have a plan for those, you know, those periods of the day, but yeah, I just kind of wanted to make sure that I mentioned that piece.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. There's so much. There's so much more at play than just the individual person, right and the, the I'm failing or I'm the only one going through this or that. That narrative of why can, why does it seem like other moms can handle it and I can't? Or does it mean that I love my baby less or eat like all? All of those things are so much bigger than the individual.
Speaker 1:And, and one of the things that I hope anyone can access, you know, when you realize it is the, the idea that that I'm not alone in this. I I'm alone a lot of the time, but in in the bigger picture, like I'm not the only mom up in the night with a colicky baby, I'm not the only mom who is experiencing sleep deprivation. There are so many humans out in the world I mean, we wouldn't have jobs if there was only one person experiencing it so, um, there are so many humans out in the world who are experiencing these things and and it is it can feel so real and overwhelming and like helpless or hopeless in the moment. I've been in these moments where I'm like why did I even have this child? Like this is an alien child, it's not mine, like this is some kind of cruel joke, right? And all of these tools even when they feel maybe fluffy or like inaccessible or how can breath, really make me feel that much better. I can assure you that if any of those narratives are happening for you as a listener, that upon implementation you may feel differently about it, and getting over that first hurdle of trying to implement something new when you're already in a hard place can feel really overwhelming. But I cannot guarantee it.
Speaker 1:There are lots of there's a million really good ideas out there in the world on how to cope with motherhood, and only a handful of them are going to work for you, your temperament, your life, the culture that you live in, the geographical location that you live in, and so when you think about scripts or tools or things online, there's a bit of a level of like curiosity that also can be helpful around. What might help me in this moment? What's not going to help me in this moment? Right? I had a therapist once who told me all of my postpartum anxiety and OCD would be cured if I just went to yoga, and I was like you can know, that's not. That's not. It's a tool, it's a resource, and I think it works for a lot of people that for me that resource did not match that problem, and so for some people it does, but for me it was like that's not the only, that cannot be the only thing, right?
Speaker 2:So personal what works for each of us?
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely, absolutely. Thank you so much, cindy, for sharing your wisdom with us around how we can implement resources into these transitions of motherhood and these different phases of motherhood, when we feel like we are struggling and alone and we are the problem, and that lovely reminder that our ability to manage or navigate motherhood or sensory overload is not a personal failure. There's so much more going on that and when parents can access resources, paid or unpaid, the feeling of more joy and more patience and less critical of yourself is a natural, amazing result of that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely yeah. I've enjoyed chatting with you so much about this. It's a topic that's near and dear to my heart, and so thank you so much.
Speaker 1:Thank you, Cindy.
Speaker 2:Have a good day.
