Chill Like a Mother Podcast
This show shares stories, offers tips and tricks, and provides education to help you feel more chill like the mother you know you want to be.
Hey! I'm Kayla Huszar, a creative counsellor who's all about unconventional therapy that encourages creativity, curiosity and finding what makes you feel alive (again). I've helped so many women navigate the waves (ups and downs) of motherhood, and I'm here for you, too!
So, if you're feeling overwhelmed or need a moment to yourself, grab your headphones and press play on an episode!
You're not alone, and you already know what you need.
Chill Like a Mother Podcast
The Radical Act of Guilt-Free Self-Care for Moms
Women and mothers are changing the world—but not if they’re exhausted, underfed, and running on fumes. In this episode, we’re diving deep into what real self-care looks like beyond the bubble baths and face masks. Spoiler: It’s about meeting your own basic human needs without apology.
My guest, Tami, shares her personal wake-up call—when an acupuncturist bluntly told her she was on the fast track to burnout. Sound familiar? Maybe your moment is realizing you haven’t eaten a full meal in days, or feeling resentful while your partner takes a leisurely shower. Whatever it is, your body is speaking. Are you listening?
We tackle mom guilt, the lies we tell ourselves about rest, and why setting boundaries isn’t selfish—it’s essential. Plus, practical, no-cost ways to integrate real self-care into your life today. Because a well-fed, well-rested woman? She’s a force to be reckoned with.
🔥 Tune in to reclaim your energy, rewrite the script, and give yourself full permission to be human.
🎧 Listen now!
Meet Kayla Huszar, the Host of the Chill Like a Mother Podcast
Kayla Huszar is a Registered Social Worker and Expressive Arts Therapist who helps mothers reconnect with their authentic selves through embodied art-making. She encourages moms to embrace the messy, beautiful realities of their unique motherhood journeys. Whether through the podcast, 1:1 sessions or her signature Motherload Membership, Kayla creates a brave space for mothers to explore their identities beyond parenting, reconnect with their intuition, and find creative outlets for emotional expression and self-discovery.
Thank you for letting me be a part of your day—kids running amok and all! If this episode helped you feel a little more chill, please leave a rating or review. Your feedback helps the podcast reach more moms who need to hear it.
All right. People, women and mothers are going to change the world, but we cannot do it if we are exhausted and starving, and this is where 100% guilt-free self-care comes in. Tammy, take it away with your definition of guilt-free self-care.
Speaker 2:Thank you for having me, kayla. My definition of guilt-free self-care is women, mothers, first and foremost. We're human beings with basic human needs, desires, maintenance needs, and we cannot function at optimal level if we are not pouring into ourselves as much as we're pouring into our families. We can't do anything when we're too tired, too hungry, too anything. Right? It's like we have to treat ourselves like the tall toddlers that we are in order to get the best out of ourselves, so that we can show up calmly with our kids, so we can show up fairly with our partners and so we can show up regularly and fiercely in the world, so that we can make change together.
Speaker 2:Because here's the thing the best way to keep people from rising up and claiming their power is to leave them hungry and tired. Right, it's so simple. It's not easy, because we're going to going against every cultural uh. Pushback is that we have to be self-sacrificing, we have to put everyone first, we have to light ourselves on fire, and the fact of the matter is no, we, we don't. We don't Because I don't subscribe to that channel. So I am well-resourced and I'm well-fed and I'm well-rested, and so I'm always ready to fight the bigger fight.
Speaker 1:Yes, yes. Now for the women listening who are not at that place, who are not at that well-resourced, well-fed, I know what I need and I'm going to fucking make it happen. Place, is there a journey? Is there a story that you have of a time of when you weren't there and some of the obstacles, the journey, the guide, the things that got you to this resourced place.
Speaker 2:Yes, there's a couple. So I started. My first career was in politics. I'll just say I lasted a decade, but I did have a stomach ache for that whole time. I was like, how burnout can you be, all the burnout. So I transitioned to that, to being a teacher. I was like now I found my calling. What did I do? I worked myself half to death and was like, oh my God, am I going to have to quit?
Speaker 2:I had two dudes in the course of my teaching career within months. One was I went to. I went to a doc, an MD who also happened to be. He had a doctorate in Chinese medicine, so I went to him for I wanted to clear up my skin. I was having some acne, perhaps I was a little stressed and I went because I was like I've tried everything and I have this stubborn, but my skin was angry, my skin was crying out for something. So I went to acupuncture and sadly he looked me dead in my face and he said you're going to drop dead in your classroom if you don't take care of your stress.
Speaker 2:And I was 38 years old and I was like what did I say the three seconds? Like I just met this man, his name is Chuck, dr Chuck. Dr Chuck was like girl, you're coming to me for the wrong thing. And I was like, but can you clear up my skin? And he was like probably not, but let's get on the table. And then I just poke, poke, poke, you know. And I was like damn rude. So I kind of just went, kind of went back to sleep and was like I guess I got to take care of my stress. I don't know exactly what that meant at that moment, but I was like Chuck's, real passionate. And then, a few months later, I was at work with the little children's and the little children's were acting out. I don't know if you know this, but little children's, they are a mirror. They give you what you give them. So if you're showing up as an under-resourced, hungry, tired jerk, they're like yeah, mom, guess what? Me too.
Speaker 1:And more, and I raise you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, they're right, and they're also like I'm not as sophisticated as you. So I, you know, here's your base model of I'm just going to be a nightmare, right, because grownups can kind of tamp it down and kind of pretend that's not happening, but kids can't. And when you're in a classroom they're coming at you in mass and you're like I cannot have 20 people coming at me like this. What is wrong with them? What is wrong with those children? So I went to my principal I don't know. I was complaining about something a kid did and he walked from behind his desk around me. He closed the door and I am complaining and I'm thinking is he doing? That is so weird. He comes back around and he looks at me with concern face and I was like, sir, we don't have that relationship.
Speaker 2:And also I'm here to bitch right, I am here to register a complaint about poorly behaved children. Why are you looking me with concerned face? And he goes are you happy? Oh, and I was like what the fuck does that have to do with anything? And he goes are you happy being a teacher? And then I was like, oh shit, I'm gonna ugly cry in front of my boss. And so I held it together and I was like why do you ask? He's like you're such a great teacher and I was like not feeling that right now Because you're asking me weird questions.
Speaker 2:He's like you're a natural, the kids love you and you seem so unhappy you are sucking the joy out of the room. And I was like I got chuck over here telling me I'm gonna drop dad in my classroom. And now I have mr I'm everyone's pal principal saying I'm sucking the joy out of the room and I was like it's whatever you want, cause I really, in that moment I was like God, do they not see how hard I'm working? Do you not see how much I'm putting into this, do they not? And um, what they saw was a husk of a person who had no personal life and no hobbies and put off friends and fun and all of the good stuff in life until summer.
Speaker 2:But I was too tired to enjoy it in the summer.
Speaker 1:Of course, because you're recovering the whole time.
Speaker 2:I was recovering. So I, honestly I in that moment I was like fuck them. I kind of went on strike in my head and I just decided I was like you know what, I'm just going to work, I'm just going to do what I have to do. I'm going to work to rule, got to be here at this time, Can leave at that time, and then apparently I'm going to have a lot more hours of the day.
Speaker 2:And that's where I got curious, because it was, it was the, it was the how fast those things happened. And I could see in my own face and body like my skin again, like your body, tells you things, yes, and it's not. Oh, you ate something weird or what it's like my body was really rebelling and angry. So I thought, okay, I have all these hours in the day, what am I going to do now? So I decided in that moment you know what? They can't see how great I am.
Speaker 2:So I'm going to pour into my own life. I'm going to do all those things that everyone's grandma says to do. I'm going to eat a goddamn meal, a whole one. I'm going to sit down, I'm going gonna chew it but cook it before then. I live in California where we grow the food. I'm gonna go to the farmer's market. Yeah, gonna make fresh prepared food, okay, so now I'm well fed, I'm gonna give myself a bedtime and I'm gonna go to bed and I'm gonna sleep. Well, damn it, now I'm well fed and I'm well rested. Then my afternoons they were open. Oh, look, now I can go to that yoga class that I've been meaning to go to for years. Oh, it's like I'm gonna walk to the yoga studio oh.
Speaker 2:I'm gonna go to the movies with my friends. Oh I so I started pouring into my life and I'm I'm I regret to inform everyone. Literally everything in my world became easier. It's weird, all those misbehaved kids way less misbehaved.
Speaker 2:I was like, oh so, when the grown-ups show up generously giving the benefit of the doubt not bitching, moaning, yelling this, that, the other of the doubt, not bitching, moaning, yelling this, that the other thing the kids were like oh, we're here to learn, welcome, glad you're back, glad you found your joy, lady, because it was a real slog. It was a real slog before and I thought and that group of kids had been particularly challenging, they'd been challenging for everyone, not just me, thankfully, right. And when I showed up differently, so did they, and I was like that was a fluke and the worst part about it that was a one-timer, but also to note.
Speaker 2:Here in the United States little children take these high stakes tests every year. Yes, it's terrible.
Speaker 1:It's real fun.
Speaker 2:Terrible practice, but it's a fact and my students did great that year and I thought, huh, a fluke.
Speaker 2:A fluke, I tell you. But you know what, when I got to summer, I had more fun because I wasn't completely burnt out and I thought let's try this experiment again. So I started the year like that. I regret to inform all of you again that it worked and and I was getting along with my colleagues better, and I was getting along with my husband better, and I was getting along with my husband better and I was like, oh shit, did I stumble upon the secret of the universe, which is we bring ourselves to every interaction and we either bring some sort of dried out, crispy, angry brew just do we bring this? I, you know what we either bring. Uh, what a rabid raccoon. We know her, yes we know her.
Speaker 2:Uh, so we either bring the rabid raccoon to the interaction or we bring, like the cuddly koala or hell, not, not a rabid raccoon, just a regular raccoon, and it makes a difference. Just like everyone who's listening has interacted with the exact same child. That child, when they have had their special lovey, they've had their special food, they drink out of their favorite cup, they're wearing their favorite you know superhero costume, they've been to the park, they've played with their favorite friends, they've heard their favorite books. When all of their little pieces come in alignment, they are angels straight from heaven. And you think, god, I am so good at this parenting thing.
Speaker 1:I nailed it.
Speaker 2:Look how well behaved my kid is yes, I am so good at this parenting thing, I nailed it. Look how well behaved my kid is yes, I am magic. And then there's the days where nothing goes right for your little person and it seems like they are hell-bent on bringing everyone down with them. Yes, we do that to everyone else too.
Speaker 1:Because we are big toddlers.
Speaker 2:We are big toddlers. We're big toddlers.
Speaker 1:We're big toddlers, yep, who need our special blankets and our special food and our special drinks and our fresh air and our plants and our little walkies and our little talkies with our friends and our little hobbies.
Speaker 2:We need all of that in order to feel like ourselves. So one of the things so a lot of people go okay, but a hundred percent guilt-free, and I was like okay. So here's the thing. I do want to touch on that. So Brene Brown says guilt feels like I did something wrong. So if you think of self-care and you feel guilty, that means you believe that caring for yourself is somehow wrong. But if we go way back to the beginning, the first thing I said was like we're all humans that have human needs and we wouldn't deny those human needs from our partners or our parents or our kids or people at work. Why are we denying ourselves basic human needs? And the other thing that Brene talks about. So the difference between guilt and shame is guilt is I did something bad and shame is I am that.
Speaker 2:So I didn't actually come up with the name of my book or my business or my podcast. It came to be because I was sitting around with a bunch of other business owner women and I was describing what I do and somebody's like guilt-free self-care, like I would kill for that, and I was like, but as I got further into it and really learned what guilt versus shame means, I think people excuse me. I think moms, women, feel shame, that they need care, they feel bad, like they're weak or they're broken or they're selfish or they're awful. And I gotta tell you I don't subscribe to that channel because people like how, but how do you just let it go and I'm like, well, that belief was made up and it's very inconvenient for me to feel shitty about myself 24 hours a day. Yeah, yes, I mean I have before. I'm a woman that's grown up in the United States, like I'm in my mid-50s. Of course, I felt like shit before, yes, but when I decided that I was like that doesn't work. That belief, that's dumb, that actually hurts me. I'm going to believe this other thing hurts me. I'm going to believe this other thing.
Speaker 2:The other thing that I believe is I'm a human being worthy of the same care that every other human being on the planet deserves and needs. Like there are fundamental human maintenance activities that are not optional. And it sucks that we, you know, because when you're in your 20s and your 30s, you can get away with like oh, I only slept six hours, girl, when I do not, when I sleep six hours, it's like I'm hung over. I haven't had a drink since 2014.
Speaker 2:And you take a few hours of sleep off me and I'm like, well, might as well have a drink, a bottle of wine, because self-care gets less negotiable the older you get, and I think it's a human design flaw that we start life very resilient so that we can make the worst behavioral choices and we create zero good habits. I mean some of us create zero good habits, right? I mean I'll just say I have quit doing drugs, I have quit drinking and I have also quit smoking, not in the last decade, right Like when I was young I did stupid shit Because I could, but as I've gotten, older.
Speaker 1:I'm like, oh, I went to bed at 11 o'. Some like, just some, I have ADHD, so my brain makes all of these connections. Okay, so I am approaching 40, my husband's grandmother they share a birthday. She was 40 when he was born. Okay, so young first generation, young second generation Okay, so she was 40.
Speaker 1:At my age right now, my mother-in-law had a teenager. I have a five-year-old, so it's like generationally also there is this connection in my mind between what her life looked like at 38 and what my life looks like at 38. And being that my husband and I have been together since we were 16, I know what 37 looked like for her. Like I actually I was there and I have a five-year-old. And so it's so fascinating to me when I think about all of the guilt and the shame, especially in context of like comparison and social media and permission giving and what we see other people doing, struggling with. We have this wide, open lens of what other people are doing and it's fascinating to me that even in my adult toddler body but also resourced brain, I think like I have to take care of myself because my kids are also still so little and still need so much from me they're like going to bed on time I call that defensive sleeping when you have little kids.
Speaker 2:Somebody I think it's Laura Vanderkam she says that going to bed early is sleeping in for grown-ups. Because you don't. You don't get the other end, because you can't control the other end. Yes, you can't control if somebody's going to bed early is sleeping in for grownups, because you don't get the other end because you can't control the other end. You can't control if somebody's going to get up and throw up on you or get up and just like stare at your face, but you can control when you go to bed. Yes, yeah.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:And the.
Speaker 1:The piece of that scenario that I hear so much from my clients is that the evenings are the only time that they have that's theirs Because, unfortunately, unintentionally and like not consciously, probably, they have scheduled every single minute of their day and that is literally the only time that they have that's theirs.
Speaker 2:The time where they're already tired, their willpower has run out, the dopamine machine of their telephone is like come with me, come with me, get some snacks. Try to read the end of the internet before you go to bed. This is your only time, mama. Yeah, I know, I laugh at that because I know it's true. I find myself doing that sometimes and I'm like whoa there, lady, this life is not for you. You've already learned those lessons. I didn't become a mom until I was I was 40. My kid is 14. Okay, and I? There is a special. I was going through perimenopause while my kid was going through puberty. I just like to let everyone know that that is Olympic level parenting in a way that I was like I was wholly unprepared for that. She was a formidable opponent. I think we've worked it out. We've got some treaties. I was also I wasn't diagnosed until last year for adhd, and because I held it together, I held my whole life together with anxiety until then, and then perimenopause, slash menopause the wheels came off the bus, pals.
Speaker 2:Uh, as we, as we, age, you know that use it or lose it situation that people are talking about. I just want to just haul everyone around and have a huddle and say the future is calling, I am the future. Stop fucking around with your youth. These are some things I would like to tell you from the future, things that people need to do. You need to move your body. It's not for vanity, it's for your mental health. You need to lift weights because I think it's around 35, women start to lose muscle mass or muscle density. Yeah, just so we're clear. You want to be a strong elder, and by elder I mean older than you are right this second, right now.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's so much harder to build back than it is to maintain, and everybody better be maxing out their retirement because weight training is the compound interest on your life, on your physical body.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:And well, money is money and you're going to need some. The point is is like there is no later tomorrow where things get easier. There's no. There's a meme that it's like being an adult is just saying we should get together looking at your calendar for 75 hours and then never doing it. The magic time to take care of yourself and to maintain your own physical, mental, emotional well-being is never going to magically appear. It will not also magically appear over your nightly bottle of wine, with your salty and then sweet and then salty and then sweet snacks, However paired with paired with this, paired with your phone or your netflix, or what with your dopamine machine?
Speaker 2:choice right, but let me tell you, if you go to bed hella early, like, say, within 30 minutes after your kids go to bed, and then you wake up hella early, do you know what pairs really great with breakfast?
Speaker 1:Hot coffee.
Speaker 2:Game of Thrones or whatever TV shit you want to watch, because you're like I'm making a grown-ass decision right now. Yes, I'm going to go ahead and I'm going to read for pleasure before I go to work. Why? Because I have 15 minutes of pleasure.
Speaker 2:Yes, I won't have them later Because I'll be too tired to enjoy my pleasurable activities Right, and it sucks that we are now having to work on other people's calendars. Right, school starts when it starts, kids get up when they get up. So there, we can deny reality, right, we, that we need care. We can deny reality that somebody outside of ourselves, whether it be our jobs, our kids or schools or whatever, run our calendar. Or we can say, okay, I surrender, I surrender I surrender that I'm required to take care of my body.
Speaker 2:Do you know one thing that really clinched physical self-care for me, other than my own aging, is? So I am 40 years older than my daughter 40. She's adopted. I did not have a baby that late. I am almost 41 years older than my daughter. My mom was only 25 years older than me. My mom died when I was 60, or, excuse me, when she was 69.
Speaker 2:And I thought, oh, I have to get my shit together for my own daughter Because I don't want her to be without her mom, because I didn't do what I needed to do To take care of myself. And I will say I mean I. I will say that I've heard so Many people Because I'm a Gen X, so like we're in that stupid Taking care of our kids and our parents Sandwich generation nonsense. And I've heard so many people my age say, my god, I wish my parents would have taken better care of themselves so that I wouldn't have to take care of them.
Speaker 2:Now that I'm a grown-up like because you can see, the decisions that they didn't make, the choices that they didn't take, affect you. Now You're like I finally get to be a grownup and I have to take care of these knuckleheads who didn't take care of themselves. And I have children and I have to teach them how to do it Right. It's we have to surrender that we are human beings that require care. You can't like take better care of your car or your house or your job or your kids than you take care of better. You cannot take better care of everything outside of you, because even if everything's working great with you now, eventually it won't. I was describing to my dad the other day, who's recently turned 83. I said you know, we act like we're Toyotas for like the first 30 years of our lives, like you just put gas in it.
Speaker 2:We're never going to break down. We're never going to break down. You easily get 200,000 miles like you might get a ding, you know, but then we turn into like vintage Ferraris, like overnight, yeah, and we're we don't have the skills. No, take care of that really fancy old car that we have now and learn how to take care of the Toyota so A it lasts longer. But also that when you get these more persnickety older person things that you're like oh yeah, I already learned that lesson. I guess that basic human maintenance includes me. Human maintenance includes me even though nobody around me is doing it.
Speaker 1:Oh, that, that right there, and and I think that's even a belief that is so nuanced, because I was talking to someone the other day and she was like I actually feel like I can't say positive things about my life because the circle of people who I'm in all they want to do is bitch and self-sacrifice and not take care of themselves. So I actually am taking care of myself. I love this phase of motherhood. I have three kids under six. I am like I love this and I truly do love it. I'm not masking, I'm not avoiding, I'm not numbing. I love it and I can't share it.
Speaker 2:It's so funny that you say that. So when I was in my late 20s, I worked in politics and, like I said, I had a tummy ache and bad skin and I went to the doctor and I was saying something and she's like you know, it really helped and I was like, what she goes, you should, you should start exercising and I like well, you know, I work for a US Senate campaign and I'm so busy and da, da, da, da and she was like, she was so unimpressed with me. She was like she was like and I was like what's your point.
Speaker 2:I don't have, I don't run my own life, I'm so busy. And she was like well, do it with your friends. And I like so you want me to tell my friends that my doctor said we, instead of going to a bar and smoking cigarettes and drinking bourbon, that we should go on a walk? And she said, yeah, preferably at a quick pace. At quick pace, yeah, riskly, vigorously, if you will. And she said yeah, and I was like, basically, you're nuts. And I was like so how do you propose that I do this? And she said, and I quote, and I will never forget, because again, it's like I have this, this crew of, I feel like brave people who have been super direct with me over the course of my life, because apparently I show up as like some sarcastic asshole who they think can take it, but she goes, I don't know, get new friends.
Speaker 2:And I was like who's this bitch? But you know what, if you're surrounded by people who look at you and are like, oh, I don't want that, okay, well, you know what? Spend time with people who want that. Because let me tell you, when my friends figure out something and they are glowing from within and they have reached their stride. I'm like, let me grab a notebook, right, so you can tell me your secrets, because I would like to fast track my life towards what you're doing. Yeah, right, that scene in when Harry met Sally, when Meg Ryan is pretending to have the orgasm and the old lady's like I'll have what she's having, that's me like, hey, you seem to have figured out some shit, will you tell me and I regret to inform you, I am the big sister from the future. It's all the unsexy shit you don't want to do is it so is yeah, and and as.
Speaker 1:Also as a, as a therapist, I say this all the time it's like you need to, I'm, I'm, I'm anti-prescriptive in terms of self-care. Like you got to choose what you put in your body, how you move your body, what you do for hobbies, who you hang around with all that stuff. However, the baseline is the same. We got to put food in our bodies, we got to move the body, we got to process the emotions in the body and we need to surround our body with other people who are like semi-decent, Like yeah, and tolerate the ones who aren't.
Speaker 2:And I love that because I, as a coach, am the same way where I'm like. I would just like to remind everyone a number of things. One what you do or don't do inside your own body only hurts you. Two if I could make other people do things, oh my the world would be so efficient.
Speaker 2:Sign me up. I would be pushing people out of the way. I'd be like, oh no, I have ideas, ideas. I've been collecting them in a notebook on how to make the world better. I, yes, here I am, give me the mic. Yeah, exactly like hello, ask me. I. I did the reading, I'm ready. Um, again, it's like. I can't tell you how many hours to sleep, but I can tell you that boozing it up, fucking with sleep, starting your day with a gallon of caffeine, sleep Bedtime starts when your feet hit the floor in the morning. Act accordingly. I'm a lifelong insomniac. Let me tell you, I've been working through, you know, sleep hygiene for my life. It's like. It's like we all. It's not an information, it's not an information deficit. We all know we need to sleep. We all know we need to eat fiber and protein. Apparently, those two are having a fight out to the death right now about what's the most important ingredient.
Speaker 1:What is?
Speaker 2:the most important and I would say the future is calling. It's both. You need both. Throw some fat in there, because you also need that, because you've long been denying yourself that. But I'm not a nutritionist or a dietician or an MD, right, every book that you read, how can I feel better in perimenopause? Oh, it turns out the answer is exercise. It turns out the answer is meditation. It turns out the answer is eating produce. If there is a question, the answer is meditation. It turns out the answer is eating produce. If there is a question, the answer is exercise.
Speaker 2:Shut up and sit down for a few minutes a day and eat things that came out of the ground at some point, didn't make these rules, but there is a surrender, there is a surrender. There is a surrender to I am a human being that requires certain things. Much like that vintage Ferrari needs its special vintage Ferrari things, but it's probably gasoline, it's probably fancy gas. Fancy gas, fancy gas Oil Probably needs some fancy oil, specialty tires, right Tires. It probably needs some good, different kind of soap than your, you know, vintage 2002 Toyota, because you want to keep it looking good.
Speaker 2:Just because we deny that we have needs doesn't make them go away. I always think of it as that whack-a-mole game. It's like you whack one and it pops up somewhere else later See how the mole didn't go away. Our needs don't go away. And plus and plus because, pals, we're moms, we're women, people are watching us and those people are the people that you likely made or are helping shepherd them through the world. They look to us and go.
Speaker 2:What does it mean to be a grown woman? What does it mean to be a female presenting person in this world? What does it mean to be a feminine person or a femme person, or even a non-binary person? What does it mean to be a grown-up? What does it mean to be a man, a dad, a father, a mother? Mean to be a man, a dad, a father, a mother? They don't do what we say, they do what we do.
Speaker 2:If you wouldn't trade places without tidying up your grown-up life with your child, if you wouldn't have your kids step into your life as it is right now, that's when you're like, uh-oh, I need to change some things. It's like when your friend says I'm coming over and suddenly you're like I'm going to take care of some doom boxes. Hold on, let me do a little tidy, right, that's if you would not say hell, you know, I want my kid to live my life. Or if you're 15 year old self. Right, if you think back of when you're 15 and you look at where you are now. If your 15 year old self is cringing because you're like aren't you supposed to be a grownup? Isn't that where you have?
Speaker 1:all the power Are you supposed to be? Like having fun and like doing all the things that? I thought we would be doing?
Speaker 2:What are you doing? You're just like grandma right?
Speaker 1:Yes, I'm going to. I'm going to close with this because I thought it was really profound. My husband sent me this Instagram post the other day and it was a carousel and it was. You only need to make two people happy the eight-year-old version of you and the. I burst into tears. My son is going to be 10 today. Wait, he will already be 10 by this is launched. He's going to be 10 in seven days.
Speaker 1:As I'm saying this out loud and I burst into tears because I thought eight-year-old me is like wanting to play and like have all kinds of fun and play the hide and seek and put the costume on and do the things right, and I actually do want to do that. As my adult self, as an expressive arts therapist, I'm like give me all the costumes, wear the butterfly wings. I got this. And my 80 year old self is like what the fuck are you doing? Why are you working on a Saturday? Why, ma'am? Why are you so uptight? Yeah, why do you write? Why do you know? On a Saturday? Why, ma'am? Why are you so uptight? Yeah, why do you write? Why do you write while they're watching cartoons? Like, what the fuck you want you like the cartoons, watch the cartoons.
Speaker 1:To sit there with the special blanket and the special stuffy, ok, so we talked a lot about how exhaustion is not a badge of honor, why self-care is not selfish, and how taking care of yourself actually makes life easier, not harder. But I know what some of you are thinking Okay, kayla, this sounds great, but how do I actually do this? But my to-do list never ends. Well, my friend, that's exactly what we're going to get into part two. We'll talk about the practical shifts that make guilt-free self-care actually possible and how kids can actually benefit when we stop running ourselves into the ground and the sneaky ways we sabotage ourselves by thinking that we don't have time. So if you've ever felt like taking care of yourself is just one more thing on your never-ending to-do list, you're going to want to come back for part two.
Speaker 1:In the meantime, I'd love to hear from you what's one thing from today's episode that really hit home for you. Message me on Instagram and let's keep the conversation going. Also, if you're interested in joining my Mother Lode membership, where we meet weekly to dismantle all of the ways that we are taught to be mothers, to be in the world, to be women, particularly how the world has taught us, shown us how women are supposed to be self-sacrificing and never do anything for themselves. The motherload of membership is for you, the burnt out mom, the trying to be good mom and the mom who is always helping and fixing but doesn't take time for herself. None of these things should you feel guilty for. You can also connect with me if you'd like to join the motherload. See you in part two.
