Chill Like a Mother Podcast
This show shares stories, offers tips and tricks, and provides education to help you feel more chill like the mother you know you want to be.
Hey! I'm Kayla Huszar, a creative counsellor who's all about unconventional therapy that encourages creativity, curiosity and finding what makes you feel alive (again). I've helped so many women navigate the waves (ups and downs) of motherhood, and I'm here for you, too!
So, if you're feeling overwhelmed or need a moment to yourself, grab your headphones and press play on an episode!
You're not alone, and you already know what you need.
Chill Like a Mother Podcast
NICU, Anger & Diapers That Felt Like Milestones: Chelsea’s Story of Hope
What happens when a mental health professional finds herself on the other side of the desk - struggling, spiralling, and split wide open by a birth plan that was never part of the plan?
In this raw and resonant conversation, Chelsea - co-owner of Couples to Cradles and co-founder of Mama Psychologists - invites us into the story of her early motherhood: one that begins with unexpected labor at just 27 weeks and unravels into a 15-week NICU stay, a cardiac diagnosis, and the kind of emotional unraveling that even a degree in psychology can’t quite prepare you for.
💬 She thought it was Braxton Hicks. It was her son, arriving far too early.
🛩️ He was flown to Calgary. She was left behind in Lethbridge.
🧷 Diapers the size of teabags. Permission slips to hold her own baby.
❤️ A tiny heart with a diagnosis. A mama with one quietly breaking.
Chelsea opens up about the moment she knew something wasn’t right - rage while pumping, not grief. That sneaky, seething kind of burnout that so many of us don’t talk about. She shares how therapy (yes, even for therapists!) and EMDR helped her begin to piece together a healing path, one blurry, hopeful milestone at a time.
✨ Like her son finally fitting into size two diapers - just in time for Mother’s Day.
This episode is for every mother who’s wondered, “Is this normal?” (Spoiler: If you're even asking, it's worth sitting with that question.) It's for the ones who feel disconnected from the role they were supposed to fall into naturally. It's for those still nursing invisible wounds while tending to tiny humans.
You are not broken. You are not alone.
And yes, you deserve support just as much as you give it.
Resources and support available through:
🤝 Mama Psychologists
🍼 Couples to Cradles – where trained therapists walk with you, not above you.
If something inside you feels a little off…don’t ignore it. That inner tug? That’s your soul whispering, “Hey…we need a little care here.”
Reach out. Speak up. You’re so worth it.
Meet Kayla Huszar, the Host of the Chill Like a Mother Podcast
Kayla Huszar is a Registered Social Worker and Expressive Arts Therapist who helps mothers reconnect with their authentic selves through embodied art-making. She encourages moms to embrace the messy, beautiful realities of their unique motherhood journeys. Whether through the podcast, 1:1 sessions or her signature Motherload Membership, Kayla creates a brave space for mothers to explore their identities beyond parenting, reconnect with their intuition, and find creative outlets for emotional expression and self-discovery.
Thank you for letting me be a part of your day—kids running amok and all! If this episode helped you feel a little more chill, please leave a rating or review. Your feedback helps the podcast reach more moms who need to hear it.
Hello everyone, welcome back to the Chill Like a Mother podcast. This month we are focusing on maternal mental health. Chelsea has so graciously agreed to be our guest today. Chelsea is the co-owner of Couples to Cradles and Mama Psychologist. If you have not picked up their book, it's too small to see, but it's right there. I will have all of those things in the show notes for anyone who's interested. Chelsea, welcome.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much for having me. I'm excited to be here.
Speaker 1:Thank you for wanting to share your story with us today. So what I've been noticing amongst a lot of my clients, through Couples to Cradles, is that they want to know if what they're experiencing is normal and if it will get better. Chelsea, can you share bits of your story with us? That maybe kind of answers those questions?
Speaker 2:Well, I will say it usually does get better, for sure. I can't tell you how long it takes, but you know, I do think. Yeah, I think hope is hard to find sometimes when you're in the midst of it, but it can be there for sure. So my son is well. How old is he now? He's almost five. Oh, he's five and a half. So he was born in 2019, but he was supposed to be born in 2020, actually, I went into spontaneous preterm labor at 27 weeks and I thought it was Braxton Hicks and I ignored.
Speaker 2:It was Braxton Hicks and I ignored it. And I always joke. My husband had to bribe me to go to the hospital for chicken nuggets, because that was my craving when I was pregnant with him was chicken nuggets. It's like 12 and midnight or something. He's like, yeah, we need to like go get checked. Like now, it'll pass. And he's like, no, we should probably go. I'll buy you chicken nuggets on the way home. I was like, okay, I'll go for the chicken nuggets. So we joke about these moments now for sure, maybe not funny when we were in it, but funny now, yeah. And so we got to the hospital in the middle of the night and we were told that the baby was coming right now and we weren't going home. So it was a bit of a whirlwind.
Speaker 2:For sure I had a wonderful OB. I will never stop singing her praises. She made a very scary situation very calm I learned after there's about 25 people in the room and I didn't even know that at the time just because she kept it so calm for me and it was so great. Yes, she was amazing and I I'm very grateful for her. So we're well, as you know, we're in Lethbridge, so we don't have access to a level three NICU. We had to be shipped up to Calgary. I say we. My son was flown up to Calgary right after he was born by the trauma transport team that comes down from Foothills. So he was shipped up to Calgary right when he was born and I actually had to stay in Lethbridge for a night to recover and I remember just like my mom stayed with me and my husband went up with my son and I remember being like, but he wasn't supposed to be born yet, like this is the wrong year, like my brain, just like literally the wrong year.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Like I got really stuck on that for a while and it was like the wrong year, like this is not the year he's supposed to be born, and everyone's like yes, I know I've probably sounded like a broken record, because I was just like it's not right, like this isn't right, and that began, I guess, our NICU journey. I mean, his birth was relatively, I'm going to say, uncomplicated, as silly as that sounds, but I mean he cried when he was born, which they said we didn't know if he would or not. And you know he was a screaming baby still and he was considered large at two pounds 11 ounces, um for his gestational age. And yeah, it was um a long journey. We were in the hospital for about 15 weeks total.
Speaker 2:And in Calgary 13 out of the 15,. We were in Calgary so we were very lucky to get into Ronald McDonald House at the time. So we lived out of there for three months and it's right by the hospital, which is lovely, and so we could just shuttle back and forth between Ronald McDonald House and Foothills and I would say overall our stay was relatively I don't want to say calm, because NICU stays aren't ever really calm but we had amazing doctors and amazing nurses and I remember thinking like we're going to spend every holiday for the next. Well, you know that time of year, right, he was born in October, so there's Halloween, there's Christmas, there's the new year. I was like if I'm not home by Valentine's Day, I'm going to lose my mind, I think. And we were home February 12th or 13th. It was like very close to Valentine's Day and I was like if I'm not home, I don't know about this. I said I'd be home by Christmas and I wasn't. So I mean, valentine's Day has to be my mark. But his journey was a little bit more complicated because we actually learned he had a heart condition in the NICU and so feeding was challenging and breathing on his own, like without oxygen, was challenging, and so that definitely prolonged our NICU stay Probably could have been shorter if that wasn't present.
Speaker 2:But yeah, I kind of felt like I got thrown into motherhood, like who doesn't when they have a new baby. Yeah, it was a bit of a wild time and I remember not feeling like a mom. So I always, with the clients I work with, I'm always like it's okay to not feel super connected or like understand, but like quote-unquote. Being a mom means like I felt like it took me a long time to feel really connected because I had to ask permission to change my son's diapers or to touch him or to hold him or to do all those things Right, and I went home every night because there was nowhere to sleep and I say home, I said Ronald McDonald, yes, so you know, I try to normalize that because it's totally OK not to feel connected, because I remember just like feeling like I was like going through the motions, I was like I pump, I hold him, put him back and that was like my job as a mom at that time. Yeah, and that connection took time to build, but I think that's also.
Speaker 1:Yeah, how did all of that affect you?
Speaker 2:I don't think I knew in the moment how it affected me, as maybe silly as that sounds I was just like I kind of get in a mode where I'm like I put my head down and like this is the challenge we're at, so this is what I do and this is my quote unquote job. So I don't think it really hit me until we came home actually.
Speaker 1:So we were lucky to come home before the pandemic started.
Speaker 2:So we were like home for maybe like six weeks, maybe, yeah, maybe, yeah, he he was on oxygen and a feeding tube when he came home and I remember we had to go back to the hospital and then, like two weeks later, the world shut down. I was like I'm glad this is like done. Yeah, I'm glad we don't have to go back to the hospital right now. So I I think it was like months into it, which again isn't uncommon, which a lot of people don't know for perinatal moms is, you know, we can struggle later on, because you know, you get through the fourth trimester, as they like to call it, and you're like I'm good, I made it. And then, all of a sudden, eight months hits. You're like wow, I'm actually not good, I'm actually not doing well, yeah yeah, and so that was for me.
Speaker 2:And I think my like a moment was I was exclusively pumping, because breastfeeding felt like too much to learn after having an incubate, yeah, and I was like I'm just gonna do what I know. And I remember getting up one night and I was so angry, I was like vibrating, and my husband woke up and he's like are you okay? I was like I'm just so mad. And he's like, then stop pumping, like it's okay, you can just stop. Like why are you still pumping if it's making you that upset? And I was like, yeah, I guess I could Like I just didn't even think about it, but it wasn't as simple as that as I just like stopped at that time. But I think that's angry. And so I went to therapy. Actually, I got my own therapist and I did some EMDR and I think I needed to process the last 15 weeks and obviously then transitioning into having a medically fragile baby at home, and so, yeah, it was probably about eight or nine months in that I kind of recognized that I wasn't doing very good.
Speaker 1:How did things change or shift or be different. Once you recognized the emotion and then sought out the support that you needed.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think you know it really was. I don't want to say like be okay with what happened, because there are moments that, even to this day, I'm like I'm so grateful that I had the NICU. In some ways and other ways, I'm like holy that was. That was quite a ride, but I think it really just helped me find a place to put some of what I was feeling.
Speaker 2:Like I needed just some space and not like I I'm very lucky, I have great family support, great friends that I could have talked to, and not just like is it my style? I was like no, I'm not going to bare my soul like that, and so I think I just needed a space where it was like there's no judgment. I could just like say what I felt, whether it was good, bad, ugly, like whatever needed to be. I think I needed to be honest. Actually, myself was a big part of it. I needed to just admit to myself like okay, it's okay that you're not okay, because I think, especially as a therapist, you're like well, I teach people how to be okay and to learn these coping skills. Like I should be okay and be able to do those things in my life and I can't, and so, yeah, just having that space to be like, okay, here it all is, here's where I'm at, and and just recognize that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, the the difficult part for me and my story is quite similar to that where except different. I wasn't a therapist at the time that I became a parent, but I had worked for many years in nonprofit and had worked with very difficult families and difficult like difficult children. I was like I could handle that. Like I like I could do that, why can't I do this? Like this is one child Like, and so it was like like I should know what to do was the narrative for me was like you should know how to do this like no, absolutely.
Speaker 2:I can relate to that for sure. Right, and I think there's a level of I don't know if it's shame or like what the right word for it is, because I think lots of professionals in the field feel that too but it's like, if I can't do it, should I be doing my job too? Like if I can't do it for myself, I be doing my job too, like if I can't do it for myself.
Speaker 1:what does that mean? Yes, what does that mean? Is there like a defining moment for you, Chelsea, where you felt that anger shift or that hope like really arrive?
Speaker 2:You know, I think it was actually big milestones for me, like for my son, that I was like, okay, we've like made it to this point, like I think in the NICU you're very much get fixated on these, or I did anyways these milestones where like, okay, there's a bigger diaper, there's a longer feed, there's, you know, there's a lower oxygen need, like all of these milestones that you're kind of looking at. And then I remember my first Mother's Day. I still have this picture and I laid out all his diapers and he was finally in a size two diaper at I don't know what. He was five, seven or eight months old and I was so and I put a little credit card next to it because that like kind of showed how small like the micro preemie diapers was. And I was so excited that he was in a size two diaper. I was like finally he's like in a normal sized baby diaper, like that was a big moment for me and I was like it's our first Mother's Day, we're not in the hospital, like it's a good day Chronically, and I did count this out, so maybe that tells you where my state of mind was.
Speaker 2:That was exactly the gestation he was born at, so it was Mother's Day, so we were like at the same he was out as long as he was born at. So was mother's day, so we were like at the same he was out as long as he was in, and so it was just felt like a big day for me and in a good way, like it wasn't a sad day, which some of those other milestones can be. Um, and I know they warned us about. Like the first birthday, like you might have a lot of feelings, and always his birthday, even to this day, is so filled with hope for me. Like I'm always so excited and I'm always like so over the top for birthdays anyway, but I'm like always like wow, we made it to. Like another birthday, this is so awesome. So, yeah, I'd say the milestones are probably the big ones for me.
Speaker 1:Yeah, knowing what you know. Now, what would you say that you experienced was not normal in terms of mental health, like it's. I make this distinction with my clients all the time. It's like what you're experiencing is typical of motherhood experience, but it's not normal, as in not everybody has an NICU stay, not everybody has like a diagnosable level of anxiety, not everybody experiences intrusive thoughts, so like it's typical but it's not normal.
Speaker 1:And so, knowing what you know now, looking back, what would you say were like some of those distinguishing things that like maybe you didn't know then, but you know now?
Speaker 2:For me it was that I was. I cried all the time and I'm not a crier like normally, like just not how I express myself. And so me crying was like very odd and it'd be like all the time, randomly, and I don't mean even just like at the hospital. Well, I was crying at the hospital, I don't mean just like in like that baby blues period right where you're kind of expected to be a little bit more teary. It was like months later and my mom was like I've never seen you cry that much in my life, and she wasn't saying it like at the judgmental way, she was just like that was weird for you and I was like that was weird for me.
Speaker 2:I don't think I've cried that much than ever again in like a year, as much as I cried at that time. So for me I think it's paying attention to what is your normal like kind of reaction to things to stress and like are you kind of responding in that way? Because I was not Like I wasn't Maybe being a little bit more, I'm going to say, reserved, like I just often will like keep my feelings to myself. So I don't think that was like out of the norm for me necessarily. But like the crying and the drop of the hat was like, okay, are you okay? And to anybody else they'd be like, of course you cried, you're in the NICU and I was like, yeah, but I don't, but I'm not a crier.
Speaker 1:So that's not normal for me, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so it can be subtle too, which I think is important for people to know. Right, like anybody would be like, well, that seems like a normal thing to do and it's like, yeah, but if it's not your normal you're doing that's not typical for how you would normally respond to any stressful situation.
Speaker 1:yes, yes, what? What did you find about the transition between one and then to two? Were there some things that like came up and when you were pregnant with your second, or like approaching that 27 week mark? That did you notice any of those parts?
Speaker 2:I would say my husband was more obsessed with the weeks of gestation than I was. He's like, oh, we made it another week. I was like, yeah, I did have a very different pregnancy. For sure, I was on a medication with my second to hopefully like help make a difference and a lot more ultrasounds and a lot more monitoring, which is great, like nothing wrong with that. So I made it to which I feel is a very long time to 38 weeks with her, yes, and so I was like after um, what did they tell us? We could stay in Lethbridge after 32 weeks. So once I hit 32 weeks I was like, I'm good, I could do whatever anything that comes at me, I'm totally fine. Yeah, so I remember. And then I made it to her birthday's in March. I made it to March 1st and I was like, oh, I guess I'm having a baby in the right month this time, like it was very different.
Speaker 2:Um, but I actually did what I like to call like preconception and like pre, pre. Well, I was pregnant, I guess, at the time too, but I did a lot of therapy actually in between that time and like making that decision to have another baby because a caveat that by my son was going to be having a major surgery in Edmonton at some point we didn't know when and I was like, okay, what happens if I'm like have another baby in this timeframe? Or you know, I have to deliver, or like what does that look like? So there are some pieces that I needed to process to like make that decision for sure. But I was and maybe it's because I did do the therapy and that's what I needed but I was never scared to have another baby because I always felt like what I went, what we went through NICU, I was like I feel like I can handle a lot now, like I feel like I know a lot. I feel like I could. You know, my distress tolerance is probably a little bit larger at that time, and so that piece felt okay for me. Where, it's funny, my husband was like very stressed about like the gestation and like paying attention to the weeks and I was like, hey, we may get 32. We're like smooth sailing, and so I think that's one thing I did do which I found very helpful In terms of going from one to two.
Speaker 2:In general, I found it harder in some ways. My kids are just over two years apart, so that could be part of it too. But it was like how do I juggle all the needs that are coming up and all of the? You know my baby looking back was still a baby to me, like it was just you know, my baby looking back was still a baby to me, like it was just you know, navigating those dynamics and unfortunately I had a complicated delivery with my daughter for myself and my recovery took about, I would say, a year. That might be a little bit dramatic but it felt like a very long time because I had an emergency C-section and so you know that piece of it, the physical recovery felt very hard but I think because I did the therapy before, the birth itself didn't feel traumatic. I was just like I can do it, I can handle it, and so we're, objectively speaking. People are like oh, wow, okay, are you okay? And I'm like, actually I'm great, like I'm okay.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah. Can you speak more about how it was helpful to be in therapy in between, and especially during that second pregnancy? I am all about like that. Mental health can be preventable to some degree. Can you just like speak more about that part?
Speaker 2:Yeah, absolutely Well, I knew I always felt like NICU was like obviously now an option. I was like I didn't. Well, I kind of knew it was an option before, but I really knew it was an option after I had my first. And so I went in with the intention or the goal at that time to be like, okay, I just want to know that I'm okay or as okay as I can be if life throws me another curveball. I just want to feel prepared.
Speaker 2:And so some of it included EMDR, so just for that reprocessing and future templating, so kind of preparing for future scenarios. And so I think it really helps me feel more regulated. And so I'm maybe disillusioned a little bit, for some people probably stay because they're like, are you sure you're okay, like I promise I'm fine, and so, yeah, I think I encourage lots of my clients who have had traumatic births like, if they can, to do some of that preconception counseling or planning, whatever that looks like. And you know, I was able to ask my doctor like questions that I needed answered just to feel like more comfortable with moving forward.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's amazing. I really found the counseling in between my first and my second to be so beneficial. I actually wish somebody probably and maybe they did, I don't know, I tend not to listen sometimes it's like I wish somebody would have told me that with my first, like just given only the transition to motherhood, not anything about mental health or coping or relationship or finances or any of those things, just like, just simply the transition to motherhood. I feel like we just breeze over that in society, right, and it's like well, you'll be fine, it'll be fine. The message is mostly like you'll be fine, which most people will be fine. But I found that counseling between the first and the second to be so beneficial and I agree with you 100%, percent of the like understanding your stress, tolerance and like walking through those future scenarios and all these things. Like I even went to the extent my dog is right here. It's like I would play crying noises for my dog to acclimatize him.
Speaker 1:When I was pregnant with my first 10 years ago, did I play crying noises for myself to acclimatize for me? No, no, you know. Like yeah, no, nobody told me that the crying can last. Like that Typically little babies in that fourth trimester will cry for up to two hours a day. Like nobody really laid it out for me, like that of like, are you really prepared for this? Go play crying noises for two hours and see how long you can stand it before you break right. Like, but no, like, no, for me nobody said it like that. It was all these, all these outward things like make sure your partner's ready, make sure, if you have a dog, they're ready, or that your family members are ready, make sure you communicate with them, make sure they are informed. And I found a huge missing piece was a lot of the information at that time. Wasn't a lot of like how you should prepare yourself?
Speaker 2:Absolutely no. Even like the books, right, like that you get from the doctor or what to expect when you're expecting or whatever. Like, whatever there's so many out there now it's always like here's the baby's milestones and here's your like gestational milestones, and it really doesn't talk about like this is like maybe some mental experiences that you can have or some feelings that could come up, or you know, I remember and I think we also aren't talking that you'll. You know you can get through the hard things. Like you know it can be hard and it's okay to say it's hard, but it doesn't mean you're not going to get through that either. Because I remember being in labor and I literally said to my baby I was like I don't know how to push, I didn't get to that part in my book yet, right, and she's like you'll be okay, we'll figure it out. And you're like, oh yeah, I know.
Speaker 2:But I was like, but I didn't read that part, like I didn't get to that chapter, because it told you to like go through the books in the weeks or whatever, and so you know, I always think about that, especially with some of the work I'm like, just because you don't know doesn't mean we can't figure it out right.
Speaker 1:You don't have to research everything, though. Yes, yes, yes, chelsea, if someone is listening and they are thinking I don't know if what I'm experiencing is normal and I maybe I'm bordering on a pretty dark place, what would you say to them?
Speaker 2:but first say if you're asking that, then something's probably not feeling right with you. Doesn't mean anything is necessarily like hugely detrimentally wrong. If you're asking that, then something's probably not feeling right with you. It doesn't mean anything is necessarily hugely detrimentally wrong, but if you're having those questions, it's probably good to explore them more, because they're there for a reason and, of course, I'm sure you feel the same. I'm totally biased. I think therapy is a wonderful option, but it's not realistic for everybody. So what does that mean for you? Could you look up some resources? Could you look up some resources? Could you talk to a friend? Could you talk to a doctor? Or, if you have a midwife, like who in your circle is, can you reach out to and be like I'm not feeling quite like myself? And if you can't, is there an online community that feels safe to do so, or what does that look like?
Speaker 1:Amazing, amazing Chelsea. If anybody has any inklings that they would like to start therapy, can you just name where people can find you?
Speaker 2:Absolutely Well. You can find us at Mama Psychologist online and we give lots of free resources and then, of course, couples to Create Us Counseling, where we have an amazing team like Kayla, who are our therapists and trained. We have so many people trained in so many wonderful areas, but especially maternal mental health, which is a lot of people's focus, which I think is amazing. Our website is wwwcouplecom. We also have lots of blog posts too, so if you're like I don't know what this symptom is, you can kind of read about it and see if it kind of clicks for you or not too.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much, chelsea, for being here, and I will include all of those links in the show notes. If anybody out there is struggling with their mental health, please reach out to anybody, anyone in your community or online, or a friend, a Facebook group. Just make sure that those spaces feel safe and that you're getting the resources that you need. But please, please, continue to reach out, keep talking about it, keep sharing it with people because if, like Chelsea said, if you have some inkling, you're wondering if it's normal, it's probably a good idea to explore that. So thank you everybody for being here. Happy Maternal Mental Health Month and a wonderful, wonderful wave of hello and gratitude to all the people who do this wonderful work, who support women and mothers and fathers and the children who need it.
